When I fall

In church this past Sunday, the pastor chose as his text Micah 7.

For the past several years I have become very interested in the minor prophets, minor because of their size, not their content. There are 14 of them in the Old Testament, and they are worth the read.

They mirror life in these tumultuous times.  They are contemporary though written hundreds of years ago.  They narrate human nature, which is the same, basically, world wide.

The men who wrote them were specially chosen of God to teach, warn, admonish, and even cry and beg for their people to return to God.   These brave souls often faced humiliation, rejection, suffering, and the risk of looking like fools.

Such is the case with Micah, which means, "Who is like the Lord?"  Micah lived during the days of kingships of Jotham, Ahaz, and Hezekiah.  Assyria invaded Samaria in 722-721 B. C., and Judah faced repeated threatenings from more than one Assyrian king.

Micah was a contemporary of the great major prophet, Isaiah; you know, the guy who got sawed in two by wicked, evil King Manasseh of Judah, the southern kingdom vs. Israel, the northern kingdom.  This mad man Manasseh left his stench and curse on Judah for years and years to come.  Manasseh's father, Hezekiah mentioned above had not yet begun to reign.

Micah faithfully warns anyone who will listen that the nation will be destroyed because of the wicked hearts of its leaders, including civic leaders, prophets, and priests, who were all guilty of not fearing God any more. This general malaise toward recognizing and dealing with sin in their lives had a trickle down affect on the general population, who followed suit.  Sluggishness and apathy towards the holiness of God reigned, therefore, in the population as well as in the leadership.  There was no fear of God, whatsoever.

One thread throughout all the prophets, both major and minor, was the shortcoming of the prophets and priests in withholding the truth of the consequences that would fall on them and the people as well if they did not turn from their sins and repent.  They failed to proclaim the doom to befall them and instead promised false hope and repeated declaration of peace.

The prophets and priests often proclaimed that these leaders preached "peace, peace, when there is no peace."

Another thread throughout these books of the Old Testament is that since God busies Himself with our every step, He sees and rewards the remnant who refuses to go along with the crowd.  To that remnant who remain faithful to Him, He promises His blessing.  To that remnant who follow Him, a better day is coming perhaps in their lifetime, but for sure in their death, as they will dwell with the Lord forever and He will reward them openly for their lives surrendered to Him instead of living for the pursuit of materialism, fame, compromise, or their own will.

As I sat in the church pew on Sunday, I listened intently as the pastor sited verses 7-9 out of Chapter 7.  And in this final portion of Micah is a great guideline for us when we fall.  It's a simple, uncomplicated (not necessarily easy or quickly embraced because of our weak flesh) prescription for rebound from sin, recovery from life's jabs, and hope in a mighty God who delivers us from ourselves.

The order of the points is not in order if that makes sense.  We will see a back and forth movement from verse to verse, but there is a very practical order.  Many times the Bible is like that.  It is not necessarily in chronological order.  That's why often one must dig into the text, think, pray, return to it, read it again, and wait for the Lord to shed light.

So we are looking at 3 powerful verses in Chapter 7.  Verses 7, 8, and 9.

Let's start in verse 8.

1.  "When I fall. . . "

Relief floods my soul at this statement.  Often put on pedestals, leaders are expected to live lives devoid of falling, devoid of slipping, devoid of sinning.  Expect it.

Micah is not positioning himself to be anything different from what he is. . . a sinner.  He is going to fall.

The fall may come as a result of sin but it doesn't have to.  The fall may be the result of a great blow:

death
divorce
loss of a job
family turmoil
or sin

BUT IT WILL COME.  WE ALL FALL for one reason or another.

What do we do when that happens?  Go to verse 7.

2.  "But as for me, I will look to the Lord."  Ahhh, there's my answer.  Relief again.  I will look to the Lord," who is

my refuge
my hiding place
my strong tower which I can run into and be safe
my paraclete (one who walks alongside of me)
my advocate (lawyer)
my intercessor (Jesus stands continually before the Lord pleading our cause)

to name a few

3.  "I will wait with hope and expectancy for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me."

Confessing to God what He already knows is essential.  It's obviously for us, not for Him.  Are we not humbled at naming our evil, our shortcomings, our anger, our jealously, our lack of forgiveness?  Does not the mention of these acts reveal who we really are and how much we need Him to forgive us and clear the air once again, restoring us to Him?

4.  "I will bear the indignation of the Lord because I have sinned against Him."

I must agree with my sin.  It's my fault, nobody else's.  I must bear my consequences myself.  I can't blame anyone else.  I can't sling mud, not with God.  He knows all.

So whatever I have coming to me, I will embrace it.  I will take it.  I will bear it by the grace of God and not make someone else my scapegoat.

Neither will I blame God.  I will allow no bitterness to cling to me.  By the grace of God, I will allow it though it wash over me, to keep going.

Depending on the reason for the fall and the fall itself, this has to be a process.  It's not a flash in the pan.  It may take a while to get out of the fog of living in God's indignation.

Personally speaking, the death of a baby is one of the most unexpected blows a parent or grandparent can punched with.  Another is internal family issues that rip the heart right out of the body.

These can cause one to fall.

The looking to the Lord becomes a lifeline, a safety net, a secure hold from focusing on the horrible night of the soul in its loss or the nightmare of volatile emotional eruptions within the family instead of the One who wants to get us out of the pit.

What has caused you to fall?  Find respite in looking to the Lord again and again and again and again. He hears you though the clamor of trauma continues to resound.  Though He seems distant.  Though the storm seems to prevail.  He hears.  Keep watch.  Be patient.  God has His own timing.  His wheels grind slow but sure.

The indignation of the Lord may be hard to bear, but He, the Loving Parent that He is, always does the right thing, distributes in the exact proportion needed, and stops when He sees His purpose is fulfilled.  Carry on in His grace.  In all of your suffering, He stands beside you with abounding grace, enough to more than get you through.  Enough to keep you sane.  Enough to give you hope.

Verse 9 in the Amplified says that after He has pled my cause and executed judgment for me, "He will bring me forth to the light, and I shall behold His righteous deliverance."

Now comes the last verse (7)

5.  "I shall arise when I sit in darkness.  The Lord shall be a light to me."

Here is grace in action.  Grace enables us to endure the darkness. It keeps us from losing our minds. Through grace we can arise from the darkness. . . eventually.  It lubricates our nerves enough to get up again and get going.  Grace is a balm.  It is the salve of the Holy Spirit that soothes the raw wounds that may have caused us to fall in the first place.  It accommodates us and makes a way for us to wade through whatever fog, grief,  or turmoil we might be stuck in one step at a time.

I love the verse in Revelation that says in the future there will be no sun or moon because we won't need them.  Jesus Himself will be our light.

Until then, Jesus will break through that dark night of the soul and shed light, His light.  That light consists of peace with ourselves, joy, hope, and the reality gripping our soul that though nothing has changed--that is, that baby we so miss will never come back here, the divorce has not been reversed, joblessness is still just that, the family is still broken and wounded, or scars from the sin are still felt--the Presence of Christ is so real that life is going to be livable.  We can breathe again.  We can function again.  We can laugh again.

The final part of verse 7 concludes, "I shall behold His righteous deliverance."

Deliverance.

What relief.  Pure joy.

Deliverance.

Praise you Jesus for deliverance.  We love you so.

I voted for Jacob and Casey too

We were sitting at the house last night talking to some family about the election, Brad's youngest brother, Jacob, interjected saying "I so wish I could vote."  His words hit me like a ton of bricks.

In that moment, I thought about Jacob.  He's 14 years old and soon to turn 15.  By the time the next election rolls around, he will be 18 years old, soon to turn 19.  He will be able to vote in that election if he so chooses.  But by then, so much of his future will have been decided for him.  The person who is elected President today (or tomorrow, whenever they calculate the final vote totals) will greatly influence Jacob's life and his future.  So much of Jacob's future depends on who we vote into office during this election. 

Then I thought about my sweet Casey, my heart, who is 8 years old.  She's a long way away from being able to vote in an election.  But her future depends on who becomes President as a result of this election also.  The decision we make today will aid in determining what kind of opportunities she will have in her future.

I'm an educated voter.  While I consider myself to be a Republican, I won't just vote straight Republican because they're Republican.  That, to me, is silly and irresponsible.  I study the candidates.  I watch the way they handle themselves in debates and interviews.  I look at how they carry themselves.  I study where they stand on the issues that matter.  However, this time around, it took until today, Election Day, for me to see the bigger picture.  To realize that my vote is greater than myself.

Those of us at or over the age of 18 get to let our voices be heard in the form of our vote.  But there is a huge population of kids under 18 whose future depends just as much, if not more than ours, on who we vote for.  It's them we have to keep in mind as we are casting our votes today, for those of us who didn't vote early.

So my vote this election was cast also for Jacob, for Casey and and for kids like them everywhere.  Kids too young to let their voices be heard in this election.  Kids whose lives are at stake when we choose who will lead our country.  As you're going to the polls today, keep them in mind and do your best to choose a President who will be best for you, but also all those precious kids coming up behind you.

Finding overlooked treasure

"The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel"—which means, "God with us." Matthew 1:23 (NIV)
A couple of weeks ago, I found myself so unbelievably frustrated! I had been expecting something in the mail that was beyond being late. I had patiently waited, each day going to my front door, only to find another day had passed without the much anticipated object on my front step. So, I decided to call the company and find out what was going on.  I had to talk to four recorded messages that could not easily understand my voice prompts before I got put on hold for fifteen minutes. Oh yeah, and this was NOT a toll-free call, but was eating up my money by the second!

I finally heard a human voice on the phone. I told of my dilemma (of course, with a very Christ-like attitude--not!) and asked the person on the line to track my package. After being put on hold for another ten minutes, the woman told me that the package had been delivered over a week ago. I sat there and argued with her for a while. Then she said something that appeared maddeningly redundant to me:

"Ma'am, what sort of a package were you expecting?"

I rolled my eyes in disgust. She should know, shouldn't she? After all, the missing item was from her company! After a deep breath to keep my temper in check, I tried to tell her, as calmly as I could, what sort of package I had been looking for. I gave her the dimensions of the box I expected it to be in. That is when she said,

"Oh, ma'am, that's where your problem is. It wasn't supposed to come in a box at all. It is small enough to fit in an envelope that is compact enough to fit in your mail box. Do you have a pile of mail that you haven't gone through yet?"

I vaguely remembered an odd-looking envelope that I had assumed was just junk mail. I asked her if she could hang on. She patiently said that she would. I ran to get the overlooked envelope and ripped it open. Lying there was my desired item. It had been there all along, but because it didn't come in the box I had been looking for, I had incorrectly assumed that it hadn't yet arrived. I returned sheepishly to the phone, begging her to forgive me for my short temper. She graciously laughed and said she was just doing her job and even went so far as to empathize with my frustration over the overlooked package.

This situation has caused me to wonder, have we mistakenly thought our Jesus hasn't arrived? Long before Christ was born in a stable in Bethlehem, the prophet Isaiah wrote about what He would look like:

Who has believed our message?
To whom has the Lord revealed his powerful arm?
My servant grew up in the Lord’s presence like a tender green shoot,
like a root in dry ground.
There was nothing beautiful or majestic about his appearance,
nothing to attract us to him.
He was despised and rejected—
a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief.
We turned our backs on him and looked the other way.
He was despised, and we did not care.

Yet it was our weaknesses he carried;
it was our sorrows that weighed him down.
And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God,
a punishment for his own sins!
But he was pierced for our rebellion,
crushed for our sins.
He was beaten so we could be whole.
He was whipped so we could be healed.
All of us, like sheep, have strayed away.
We have left God’s paths to follow our own.
Yet the Lord laid on him
the sins of us all.

Isaiah 53:1-6 (NLT)
Nothing beautiful or majestic to attract me to Him? Despised and rejected--do I really want to be associated with Someone like that? Someone who was pierced, beaten, and whipped? Could this really be my Savior? I, like so many others, have mistakenly thought God the Father would have a different plan. Am I looking for my Jesus in a pretty package? Does He receive my rejection because He hasn't ridden in on the white horse and saved the day to my satisfaction? Am I disappointed with Him??

Yes, my heart cries! This year has been full of crushings for me. Full of unmet expectations, disappointed hopes and an abundance of loss. I have thought, foolishly, to look for Him in the sunshine, not realizing that my Savior is a Man of sorrows Who is acquainted with the deepest form of grief I can imagine. Why is He acquainted so intimately with my grief? Because He has made it His own! The bitter anguish that has come from the depths of my soul, the tears that have soaked my pillow unseen by human eyes, have not gone unnoticed by my God! I just have thought so at times. The deepest glory has taken place when I have been most unaware of its presence. And my heart has sadly overlooked what has slowly become so obvious to me, what I could not see until now.

"In all their distress he too was distressed,
and the angel of his presence saved them.
In his love and mercy he redeemed them;
he lifted them up and carried them
all the days of old." Isaiah 63:9
Before I called, before I knew my own need, before I experienced the heartache and anguish of life this year, He heard me and sent the angel of His presence. Why? Because in all my distress, my Father, too, was distressed. I was looking for Him to show up in a different way. I thought He would come in a beautiful and recognizable package. Not one that was so hideous and wrenching to my heart that I could never think to believe He could be inside of it.

Our Jesus is Emmanuel.  Emmanuel means, "God with us." He is always present because He exalts nothing higher than His word and His name (Psalm 138). He cannot lie to us. He will never leave us or forsake us. We have just been looking for Emmanuel according to our own idea of what He should look like. But that does not change the fact that He has been there all along and will continue to be.

Go get your Bible--your love letter from our God. Let's not let those living, breathing promises sit unopened as they may have this past year. Let's open our book of hope because no matter what happens, our God is with us!

Jesus, retrain my eyes! May You not be my overlooked Treasure anymore. You are with me always, even to the end of the world. Let me find You where You are, not where I want You to be.

It's okay to ask why

I’m pretty sure I drove my parents nuts when I was younger because I had to know the “why” of every rule, every request, every responsibility… everything! The old tried and true “because I said so” response would have made me lose sleep at night wondering,”Who are these imposters who called themselves my parents and why won’t they be honest with me about why I can’t put my finger in that light socket?” It wasn’t just that I wanted to know why; I needed to know why. It was the way I learned to trust.

So now I’m 28 years old, and guess what. Nothing has changed in this department. I’m worse than ever. I need to know WHY the local gym will not let us bring our own water bottles inside or WHY the DMV will not let me smile on my driver’s license. It’s not that I don’t want to comply. I’m really not a rebel. I just don’t want to be jerked around by people who think meaningless rules equal power.

The good news is, when I understand the context of “WHY?” in any given situation I am extremely cooperative – quite low maintenance, in fact. I just don’t want to be a robot that is programmed to do “whatever” with no meaning or context.

Asking, “Why?” is discouraged by some, particularly in matters of faith. Questions seem to indicate weakness or lack of faith.

I beg to differ. If the God of the Universe is really all-powerful, all-knowing and if he really created every fiber of my being, why would be be afraid of the questions that come out of the very nature He wove into my mind and heart? (He wouldn’t.) He has the world’s broadest shoulders. We can ask Him, “Why?” We can be honest with Him. (Why do I know this? Because I do it all the time, and He honors my questions with insight… or at least peace when the answers aren’t clear.)

With that in mind, one of the most helpful things I ever learned about faith is the truth that God did not create commandments or standards to manipulate us. He created us to be individuals, not robots. Every command given to us in scripture is given to protect us from natural consequences that would ultimately be harmful to us.

Somehow it helps to understand that the WHY of obedience is LOVE. He wants us to obey Him for our own good because He loves us. He isn’t some “Barney Fife” rule guardian who needs us to make Him feel powerful. He is all-powerful, with or without us.

Knowing that, I long for obedience. I pursue it.

If you’re like me and have “why” questions, go ahead and ask them. The sky won’t fall. And you might even feel love like you have never known.

My Father's Angels

We are on Fall Break this next week, so we are spending it in the mountains at Brad's parents' cabin with the whole family. Last night, well over 2 hours after I had put her to bed, we walked by my sweet little cousin Casey's room on our way to bed. We stopped when we heard her singing a little song I've sung to her her whole life through. I actually recorded this one for her on one of my CDs. I was struck by the simple, beautiful message of this song that God was trying to remind me of in that moment as we stood in the hallway with tears in our eyes listening to her.

They're all above me, beneath me, before me
They're all around me
My Father's angel all protect me everywhere

I could never stray so far that
My Father would lose track of where I am
Angels walk beside me
Holding tightly to my hand

They're all above me, beneath me, before me
They're all around me
My Father's angels all protect me everywhere

Even when the night's so dark
I just can't see a thing in front of me
I don't need to worry
They can see
They can see me

They're all above me, beneath me, before me
They're all around me
My Father's angels all protect me
Everywhere

22 years ago today

In life, we experience a whole lot of firsts.  I believe that if we're lucky, we have a lifetime of firsts so we can look back one day and say we've lived an interesting life.  However, some firsts are not so pleasant.  On this day, October 3rd, my heart and my mind go back to a time when I was six years old and I experienced my first loss of a loved one. 

I remember it being a chilly, rainy night.  I was at the dining room table and my Mom was helping me work on an art project for school.  The phone rang and she stood up to go into the kitchen and answer it.  I remember hearing her greet my Aunt Carol and then moments later watching her lean against the wall sobbing uncontrollably.  My Dad heard her and came downstairs to see what was happening.  They both went to the back family room and I could heard them talking, but it was too muffled for me to hear what they were saying exactly.  They came back in the dining room, my Mom hugged me really tight without a word and then she got her jacket on and left to go somewhere unknown to me at the time.

My Dad picked me up and carried me into the living room to his chair and within moments, my very young, very small world got really sad, confusing and a whole lot bigger as I sat there on my Dad's lap.  He told me that there had been a car accident and my cousin Kimmie her Mom Kristine had been killed.  Kristine was wonderful and Kimmie was my very best childhood friend.  She was my favorite cousin by far.  We were very close in age.  She was just under a month younger than me.  We were a close-knit family, so we were together quite a bit.  We were forever loving to dress alike, make up songs and sing them for people and go swimming.  There are loads of home movies of us being silly together.  I learned later on as I got older that it was a drunk driver that hit them and killed them, which is a major reason I'm so against drinking and driving today. 

I think of them often.  Kristine had a laugh that was absolutely contagious and the most adventurous personality.  Sweet Kimmie's smile could brighten up any room.  It's hard to understand sometimes why God allows things to happen, but if we choose to see Him in the valley moments of life, we can use those dark times for His glory.

Today my heart remembers and my heart is broken.  But I choose to SEE God and remain thankful that we do not grieve without hope.  We thank Him for letting us have them in our lives for a season, even though we wish had been much longer.  We keep them in our hearts and honor their memory by choosing to live our lives well with the hope and assurance that we will see them again.

God is still God....

I love when beauty is born from trials.  That to me is the miracle of James 1:2-4 in Scripture.  "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." 

I fully believe that nothing God ordains comes back void.  There is not one single thing He allows in our lives that is not designed to bring Him glory.  And while many things may be very hard, He promises to walk with us through the fire.  He is the same regardless of anything we are facing.  He is still God. 

All of that being said, sometimes God inspires me to write music.  It's completely His doing because I do not consider myself to be all that talented in the field of writing at all.  But God recently inspired a song that I just happened to be able to put on paper and set to music.  I'm thankful for the encouragement these lyrics bring.  The lyrics are below.  And below the lyrics, you'll see a link to YouTube where you can hear a VERY rough rehearsal of this song.  My uncle, Caleb and I were rehearsing it for a very dear friend's funeral which is this Saturday.  Please overlook the vastly imperfect performance, but be encouraged by the message.....

When Jericho's walls causing great fear
All the people of God saw faith disappear
So they chose to obey, gave a victory shout
Just imagine their praise as the walls tumbled down

God is still God, He'll make a way
God is still God, He'll never change
Be still and know He's in control
No matter what, God is still God

When life hasn't been all that you planned
And the days are so long, it's just hard to stand
And if it all falls apart, there will always be hope
From the ashes you'll rise, from the rubble you'll go

God is still God, He'll make a way
God is still God, He'll never change
Be still and know He's in control
No matter what, God is still God

Be still and know He's in control
No matter what, God is still God
God is still God

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7VQh4ccNDY&sns=em

Treasures

If you know me, you know my mad love for modern hymnwriters, Keith and Kristyn Getty.  I love their Celtic approach to worship but most importantly, I love the depth of their lyrics.  Over the course of this year, as I've felt God drawing my eyes, my heart and my attention UP to Him, a particular lyric of theirs has resonatated in my soul and stayed in my mind.  It's a lyrics from their song Jesus Draw Me Ever Nearer....

Let the treasures of the trial
Form within me as I go
And at the end of this long passage
Let me leave them at Your throne

I realize we are several weeks before Christmas, but we will ignore that truth for a moment and focus on some other ones.

As I read the Christmas story each year, one tiny verse always takes hold of my attention and my heart. Luke 2:19 says, "But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart".

Wow.

No question she is one of my favorite characters in Scripture. She was young, but God took note of her obedience and faithfulness, and blessed her beyond her wildest dreams. And when this craziness is going on, she just worships and magnifies the Lord. I can't get over it. I'm sure the circumstances had to be overwhelming at times, but instead of freaking out, she took the special moments and memories and hid them away in her heart.

Overwhelming is the only word I have to describe the last several months.  Losses, deaths, bittersweet transitions, grief, trials, unwelcomed changes, diagnosis, struggle, anxiety.

It makes me tired just to type it all out. Despite the craziness of this season, there have been so many perfect moments. Moments when love overshadows everything else. Moments when beauty leaves me breathless.  Moments when I'm reminded of the blessing of family and friends who are like family. Moments when a friend opens their heart to share their experiences with cancer, loss and trials. Moments when God is glorified in the midst of a storm. Moments that I've hidden away in my heart to treasure and to ponder and to learn vital lessons.

Through this season, we are clinging to truth and promises. I am seeing His faithfulness and grace in ways I never have before. Despite being overwhelmed, we are overwhelmed in peace that can only be from Him. And even if it's through tears, my heart is joining Mary's song... "My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior".

I know the plans

As far back as I can remember, I have been a planner. I want to be as prepared as possible for what is coming, and most of the time, I am extremely bothered if the reality doesn't line up with my expectations, regardless of how unrealistic that plan may be.

The first time I recall visiting Chicago, I was enchanted. It was so vastly different from the small town I called home, but I felt as though I belonged there. The sounds of the city sang me to sleep and the sea of faces seemed strangely familiar. I longed to be one of them. College would be the first chance for that dream to become reality, so Vandercook College of Music became my goal. My plan. And I gripped that plan like a priceless heirloom. It somehow became a part of my identity. When God's plan turned out to be different from mine, I had no idea how to respond. I ran into my closet and cried... literally. My plan was pried from my fingers, and I wasn't sure how to mourn the loss I so strongly felt.

I thought I learned an important lesson during that season. I realized His promises are true. His plans are good and for my good. He was not surprised by anything that happened. His plan prevails.

I guess I didn't learn it as I thought. I still struggle each time things don't go according to my plan. When my expectations are not met. When my dream comes crashing down. When there is an uninvited interruption. I find myself questioning time and time again whether He truly knows what is best for me. How could this be right?

The majority of the events that have affected me and my family this year were not a part of my plan. Even my oh-so-wonderful plan to show you around my little house on this blog was interrupted by life. And by death. But I was reminded of a precious glimpse of providence and His plan as I reflected this week.

At the beginning of each new year, our Pastor shares with the church a word that God has given him, and challenges each of us to seek the Lord for our own word. Quite honestly, the word I heard in January let me down and did not make any sense. And it was only two letters. Seriously. At least give me a couple syllables. As much as I tried to talk Him into a better word, I kept coming back to UP. It's a word you learn in 1st grade, and in my mind perfectly unacceptable for what I had sought. I finally gave in to my word for the year, but was too embarrassed to mention it to many people.  Even to my friend Melissa who I typically share these specific types of things with.

The first glimpse that this was the right word came soon after. In the midst of a scary diagnosis and surgeries and appointments, I so desperately needed the reminder to turn my gaze up to the Healer. To the Redeemer. To the Savior. A few months later, the word became more literal as I clung to it again when some precious family went to be with Jesus. My eyes were set heavenward. On eternity. Up.

And here again as I stare into an uncertain future, I feel Him pleading for me to look UP.

I have been so comforted that He knew in January what this year would look like. He has always known the plans He has for me to bring me a hope and future.

Peace in the midst of the storm

Even though the winds aren't still
And the waves continue tossing me
From the storm I call His name
For relief from things distressing me

Now so quietly it comes
Strength to find my course again
Though He does so much for me
His sweetest gift will always be

Peace in the midst of the storm
Peace in the midst of the storm
I cry to Him for mercy
His great love takes the form
Of peace in the midst of the storm

What tomorrows hold, they hold
Joy and sadness coming day by day
But I will not be afraid
Though I know some storms will come by way

Let my enemy be sure
I will not be lost at sea
There will never come a time
That in prayer I cannot find

Peace in the midst of the storm
Peace in the midst of the storm
I cry to Him for mercy
His great love takes the form
Of peace in the midst of the storm

I've found such peace in the midst of the storm

Peace

The word that has been on my mind most today has been peace.  As I have grown older and grown in my relationship with the Lord, I have come to look at peace as I look at joy.  If your peace is found in God, it is steadfast.  It does not change when the circumstances of our lives change.  It is deep rooted in the faithful, unfailing promises of the Lord.  Exactly like joy.

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever."  (Hebrews 13:8)

I've been speaking this Scripture to myself over and over again in my mind today and out loud, as opportunity allows.  Not because I'm trying to convince myself of it, but because I believe it with everything in me and I refuse to allow fear and uncertainty to take over my mind.  There is power and victory in these words.  When I remind myself that He is the same regardless of what life circumstances come my way, I allow myself to trust even more that He is bigger than anything I will face in this life.  His grace is sufficient and He has equipped me for victory. 

He has equipped YOU for victory too.  He has set it in our minds.  He has engraved it in our hearts.  We just have to leave ourselves open to it and allow Him to lead us.

The mental image that I have when meditating on the peace is the ocean.  Sometimes the water is calm.  Sometimes it just flows peacefully along, unmoving.  Then the weather turns, the tides change and storms arise.  The water becomes restless, wave-ridden, in constant turmoil and motion.  As bad as it gets however, the storms cease and the water always eventually calms back down again.  It is so much like our lives.

Whether you're in the midst of a storm today or in a calm season of life, my prayer for you is that you sense His peace and presence in beautiful ways and that you are reminded of His faithfulness.

Great Is Thy Faithfulness - Selah

Great is Thy faithfulness
O God, my Father
There is no shadow of turning with Thee
Thou changest not
Thy compassions they fail not
As Thou hast been
Thou forever will be

Great is Thy faithfulness
Great is Thy faithfulness
Morning by morning
New mercies I see
All I have needed
Thy hand hath provided
Great is Thy faithfulness
Lord unto me

A Matter of Perspective

The first part of this blog will likely be a little TMI for any guys that happen to pass by my blog.  But for you girls, you'll understand well.  That being said....I don't know about the rest of you girls, but you can often tell my current level my how my face looks.  It seems as though the more stressed out I am, the more my face begins to resemble that of a 13-year old girl and I'm forced to make good use of my concealer makeup.  Haha. 

Such was the case this week.  Towards the later part of the week, I had something breakout that seemed to be getting to be Mount St. Helens on my forehead.  Of course I panic, and start applying facial treatment and developing the best methods to conceal this beast of a thing that popped up on my normally very clear, breakout free face.  All weekend long I've stressed over this thing because it was a weekend where I had to be around large numbers of people most of the time.  The thought of the fact that I would have to attend a family reunion AND sing in church on Sunday with this thing on my face mortified me and I began evasive maneuvers immediately.

Nonetheless, despite my best efforts, you could still see Mount St. Helens screaming there loud and proud on my forehead.  Thankfully, fixing my bangs a certain way made it so most didn't notice though.  All the frustration over that breakout this weekend came to an abrupt end this morning when I woke up and it was flat and smooth like it was never there in the first place.  The only remnant of the awful, ugly thing was a very small red place that was barely noticable.  Like magic almost, it had virtually vanished and I was beyond relieved.

As my day went along today, I could feel God speaking to my spirit loud and clear.  The words of the song "Speak To the Mountain" were playing through my mind all day long also.  Some things in life lately have been mountains that seem to be impossible to get over and move on from.  Sad things and stressful things.  To be honest, sometimes I feel like I'm walking with an avalanche waiting just over my head....and if I breathe wrong, it's all going to come crashing down.  I know all of you have felt like that time and time again also when life circumstances seem a little too overwhelming.

But today, God reminded me that He is greater than anything I'm facing right now and anything I will ever face.  All I have to do is speak to the mountains and they will not triumph over me.  Getting over the mountains of this life are often horribly difficult and heartbreaking.  But God is right there with you on the way over and He has greater things in store on the other side.  "Speak God's name and Satan trembles....Speak God's word and watch him flee....Once again, our God delivers....the mountain crumbles at our feet."

Much like that annoying blemish on my face that I miraculously woke up this morning without, one day I will wake up and all of this will be a distant memory.  My prayer is that I will be alert enough to SEE the treasures in these trials and come out stronger on the other side of them.  By God's grace, I'm confident I will.  I'm thankful for that assurance.

From strength to strength we sometimes go
Then again we're sinking low
In the shadow of a mountain
Looking high above our head
We need not fear what lies ahead
For the word has clearly said
That our faith would be sufficient
To make the moutain disappear

Speak to the mountain
You'll not triumph over me
Be thou removed from here to yonder
Disappear into the sea
Speak to the mountain
Speak with authority
And the mountain must move
And you will claim victory

In the midst of the battle
When the foe is gaining ground
Look up and see the might hand of God reaching down
Speak God's name and Satan trembles
Speak God's word and watch him flee
Once again our God delivers
The mountain crumbles at our feet

Speak to the mountain
You'll not triumph over me
Be thou removed from here to yonder
Disappear into the sea
Speak to the mountain
Speak with authority
And the mountain must move
And you will claim victory

Song:  Speak to the Mountain

Pink Stickers

Much like the majority of other women I know, I love shoes. I enjoy shopping for shoes.   Actually, to be more accurate, I enjoy finding bargains in shoe stores.   Maybe it’s because I find shoes so outrageously expensive.  Whatever the explanation, when I walk into my favorite shoe store (the one where they used to make annoying sale announcements and play high volume oldies but have recently become more sedate), I immediately head to the back of the store to the clearance rack.   Now it’s true that I rarely find anything there that interests me.   The shoes that have been relegated to this land of lost soles are either stylistically challenged or in obscure sizes that only pygmies or NBA players could possibly use.   But in my closet is a really fantastic pair of red pumps that satisfied my fashion sense, feel light and comfortable, look great even with jeans, was my size, and was marked down to $12.99 from $50-something.  The memory of that find motivates me to keep going back and browse through the green and purple running shoes and size 22 steel-toed moccasins.

All these footwear failures have one thing in common: the pink sticker.  To me it’s a sign of a potential bargain; for the shoe it is an emblem of shame.  The pink sticker is evidence that either the appearance, shape, or usefulness of that shoe has been tried in the marketplace and found wanting.  As popular (and therefore overpriced) shoes are held in high esteem and fly off the shelves, these misfits languish in obscurity until donated or discarded.

While reading the Psalm 139 the other day, I was reminded of those pink stickers.   The psalmist makes the statement “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”  He says this after a lengthy meditation on the truth that God knows all about us.    I think the writer is amazed that the One who knows us so well takes credit for making us.  In spite of His perfection and our weakness, God values us above all creation.   As another Psalm puts it, He “crowns us with glory and honor.”

How sad then that we who can celebrate such affirmations would be so prone to place on others a metaphorical pink sticker that indicates diminished value.  It may be because of their size or their color or their style; it might be they are unseen or unnoticed; perhaps they get in the way of our agenda or cannot contribute to our success; they may be “different” in a way that makes us uncomfortable.  For those of us in some sort of ministry, we can be tempted to seek an inventory reduction of the critical, the undependable, the complaining, or even the less gifted.

This doesn’t sound anything like Jesus. His disdain for the pink sticker is obvious.  No one He encountered was relegated to the clearance rack. I think He could value each person because He knew how valued He was by His heavenly Father.  “This is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased,” were the words He heard when he humbly offered himself to John’s baptism.    I would surmise that one reason we so easily stick a pink sticker on others is the nagging suspicion we deserve one ourselves.  Or worse, we have actually slapped one on ourselves, and putting others “in their place” is our attempt at finding self-worth in the deceptive realm of comparison.

I think the alternative is better: allowing the Creator who knows all about us and the Savior who died for us to declare us redeemed, forgiven, restored—and even in our sinfulness, of great value.   Let’s remember we’ve been pulled off the clearance rack.   We have been placed on display at the front of the store, with a sign announcing not our sale price, but the price by which we have already been purchased—a price which is beyond human calculation.   Let’s rip the pink sticker off our self-perceptions so we, like Jesus, are free to value those that the world would overlook or demean.

That’s even better than a bargain at the shoe store.

Songs in the night...

Psalm 77 is filled with beautiful words of gratitude and praise to God for being a help in times of weakness and distress.  It's a passage I've visited quite often during this difficult week.  Verse 6 has always stuck out to me.  "I remembered my songs in the night.  My heart meditated..."  Of course, the word "night" is used as a metaphor for a period of trials and darkness in life.

That's why Scripture tells us to hide the Word in our hearts.  That way when we are in times of darkness and trouble, we draw on the Scriptures to encourage and comfort us when we need them.

We all have those things that encourage us that we store in our minds.  Scriptures, song lyrics, quotes, etc.  These things speak to us in the night and draw us closer to God through it all.

Songs In the Night

Tough times are right before my eyes
So close they make it hard to see much beyond myself
And where You're leading me

Dark skies as I lie awake
Once again I find
The battle's all about where I set my mind
So until a new day comes
I'll think on all the the mighty things You've done

And I will sing songs in the night
While in a time of so little light
I'll recall Your goodness, Your faithfulness
And the great things in my life
These will be my songs in the night

Each time life brings me to my knees
I will pour out my heart to You
And run into Your word
For Your promises are true
And even though it doesn't feel like You're close
I'll trust You with me still

And I will sing songs in the night

While in a time of so little light

I'll recall Your goodness, Your faithfulness

And the great things in my life

These will be my songs in the night

This will be my song in my darkest hour

More than my own strength

I'll trust in Your power

And I will sing songs in the night

While in a time of so little light

I'll recall Your goodness, Your faithfulness

And the great things in my life

These will be my songs in the night

The watches of the night...

I look towards the wintering trees

To hush my fretful soul

As they rise to face the icy sky

And hold fast beneath the snow

Their rings grow wide, their roots go deep

That they might hold their height

And stand like valiant soldiers

Through the watches of the night

No human shoulder ever bears

The weight of all the world

But hearts can sink beneath the ache

Of trouble's sudden surge

Yet far beyond full knowing

There's a strong unsleeping light

That reaches round to hold me

Through the watches of the night

I have cried upon the steps that seem

Too steep for me to climb

And I've prayed against a burden

I did not want to be mine

But here I am and this is where

You're calling me to fight

And You I will remember

Through the watches of the night

You I will remember

Through the watches of the night