Dear Mom -
It has been nearly 8 years since you passed away and rarely if ever does a day go by when I do not think about you. But you are never more in the forefront of my mind than in the month of May and around Mother's Day. It's a difficult time for me. I've never quite understood why it is more difficult than any other time of year, but I think it's because everywhere around is screaming mom and it hurts my heart. It pains me to think of all the things that you are missing. And while I trust that you are rejoicing in Heaven with God never thinking for a moment about life on earth, I often think of all the ways life would be different if you were still with us.
I often think about what a different person I was in 2002 when you died. I was still such a kid and knew so little of what life is all about. My life is so different now. I am so different now. Physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally. Time certainly has a way of giving you a different perspective on things, and I am thankful for that. That being said, there are so many things I wish I could tell you that you taught me that has molded me into this woman I am today.
You taught me what it is to be a woman. You taught me how special and unique women are and what a gift they are to the world. You taught me to be a woman of character. I remember you telling me what a responsibility it is to be a woman, how sometimes women have to fight for respect. You showed me by example that being a woman of strength, modesty, character, humility, faith and beauty would always gain respect from others and help me live a life in which I could respect myself at the end of ever day.
You taught me that it is not only okay to fail and make mistakes, but that these things are important. You taught me that it's important to not let these things define you, but to allow them to become the building blocks with which you build a better life for yourself. You taught me to never be afraid to fail because failure is what teaches you the lessons you need to become a person of quality character. You taught me to pray for the courage and tenacity to always pick myself up, dust myself off and come back stronger after I fail.
You taught me the beauty of chronicling the important moments of life. You are always taking pictures, writing journals, getting excited about those precious moments that bring the beauty and richness to life.
You taught me the power of a positive attitude. You were always honest about the fact that you struggled with having a negative mindset an awful lot. Through your honest admission of something you struggled greatly with, I learned to take that and learn from it.
You taught me the value of generosity. You were the most unfailingly generous person. You would do anything for anyone. People knew they could rely on you.
You taught me to love music. You filled me with an insatiable love and appreciation for all forms of music. Some of my best memories growing up were riding in the car with you going wherever singing to old 50s and 60s songs on the radio. Because you were in that singing group in your 20s, you always sang the harmony part two songs on the radio. Never the melody. It's because of you that I have an ear that can hear harmony and that is a valuable skill that has served me so well in my life.
You taught me the beauty of a creative mind. You had one of the most creative minds I have ever known. You were imaginative, inventive, creative and resourceful. I used to think that you could do anything, create anything. You had this amazing ability to take ordinary, boring, wasted things and make something so remarkably beautiful out of them. Through that, you taught me to look for the beauty in everything and never waste anything.
You taught me the importance of loving well. You always said that loving people meant nothing if you didn't back it up through your actions. There is not one person that you loved that did not know that you loved them. You were always great at showing it in even the most small, profound ways.
You taught me that I will not ever appreciate anything that I have if I didn't work hard for it and fight for it. You always told me that nothing worth having comes easily and you were so right. You showed me that unless I am willing to put my whole heart into something, it must not be something I truly want.
You instilled in me a deep love and passion for adoption and all of God's children. I cannot count the times growing up when you would tell me that I was so extra special to you because you got to choose me. Adoption to me is the most beautiful, concrete example we have this side of Heaven of how God loves us. You showed me that by loving and raising a daughter that you did not give birth to. Never for one moment in my life did you make me feel different because we were not blood related. You taught me that love is greater than anything. And while life was never perfect, I never once doubted the love that you and Dad had for me.
You taught me to force myself to find the treasures of every situation in life, especially the most difficult things. You always said that there is something good to take from everything in life, good and bad. Sometimes you have to look hard for it, but it's always there.
There is so much I wish you could be experiencing with us still today. It breaks my heart thinking that you never knew my husband, you won't ever know our children, you won't get to see the life God has allowed us to build, the home we share.
Most importantly, I wish you could see that your life had such great value and meaning. I wish you could know what a beautiful legacy you left. I know you never thought very much of yourself and you never felt like you really accomplished all that much in your life. I wish you could see how wrong that way of thinking was. Your life had value and meaning because you were loved. You were appreciated. You were valued.
While I feel a little strange saying this, I guess your legacy is me. I was your only child and the person I feel like you poured the most of your heart into. That makes me feel humbled and it makes me feel the weight of the responsibility I have in my life to keep your memory alive and always remember the best parts of who you were, while continually learning lessons from things you struggled with.
Happy Mother's Day, Mom. I miss you every day. I'm extraordinarily thankful today for things like memories and love....which death cannot destroy. I love you.
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Thursday, May 9, 2013
What's in a name?
When we first found out I was pregnant, my mind jumped straight to baby names (after practically having to pick myself up off floor from the shock, of course). Some of my friends who are Moms have told me that they started right off obsessed about the nursery, the baby's gender, paint colors, etc. I started off in an obsession about baby names. Giving a child a name seems like one of the most pressure-filled tasks in the world. It's something little he or she will carry with them ALL of there life and what they will be KNOWN by. Wow. Heavy decision.
So I started praying......and pondering....and because I was in tears on a daily basis panicking about this decision, my sweet and ever-patient husband decided to be proactive. I walked in the door after work one evening to find a book of baby names sitting on the kitchen counter that my husband had purchased at Barnes and Noble on his way home from work. We started the seemingly never-ending task of reading through names. Many possible avenues to take in choosing baby names....
Do we want to use Biblical names?
Do we want to use family names?
How important is the meaning of the names to us?
Will the names we should make our baby sound respectful when he or she is a grandparent?
(To explain, I have this weird thing about cutesy names. Just think about it. Some of the cutest names for little kids do not sound as cute when the kid is like 60. Haha.)
How important is it to us for our child to have a name that is unique and not average?
Will this name sound professional if our baby becomes a doctor, a principal or an elected official?
All these things running through our minds made for a lengthy decision process for finding possible names for this little baby we've all affectionately started calling "Baby M," for McGregor. I suppose it's better than calling the baby "It" or "The Baby" like we were doing. Those seemed so uncaring.
I'm beyond happy to report that we finally found names that we both love and think our family and friends will love also. I also feel very confident in saying our child will have a name that sounds respectable when he or she is 2 or 72....whether he or she becomes an electrician, a teacher, a contruction worker, a doctor, an engineer, a pilot, a musician or even holds a political office.
So.....what are the names?!?!?
Although two close, treasured friends know, we plan on keeping them a secret until Baby M makes his or her grand entrance into the world. It's exciting to us to know that it will be a joyful surprise for our family and friends......but to keep you pondering for the next several months, here are the initials for the names we have chosen. I think you'll be able to figure out what the 3rd letter in each name is. If you somehow happen to actually figure it out, write it down and give it to one of us. If it turns out that you are correct, you'll win a prize. Not sure what it will be yet, but I'll make sure it's something special. Happy Guessing! : )
Girl Name: E.C.M. (Meaning: hard-working, beautiful woman)
Boy Name: L.J.M. (Meaning: strong willed, God's peace)
Monday, March 25, 2013
Mary, did you know?
In church on Sunday, I sang a song that has been on my heart much of this month, Mary Did You Know. It's traditionally known as a Christmas song, but this year, its message rings even more true for me as I have been trying to prepare my heart for Holy Week. Before I sang it, I introduced the song by sharing what's been on my heart because I knew most people would be confused by my singing a "Christmas" song.....
It's becoming more and more clear to me as I study and meditate on Scripture that one of the greatest proofs that the Gospel story is true is found when we see Mary's silence at the cross.
Think about it. If my town or community decided to crucify me, my mother would have been raising up a storm to stop it from happening. If we were to try and claim to be God, my mother would have been the first one out there to say, "She's a liar! She might be a lunatic, but she's not God! Don't kill her!"
But when Mary stood at the foot of the cross, as Jesus was being crucified for being God, she didn't say a word.....even if it would save His life, spare the cross. Why? Because she knew it was true.
She, of anyone on this planet, was the one in a position to know the truth of the virgin birth.....and she stayed silent.
When it comes to faithfulness, she is at the top of the list in my mind of people from the Bible. A mother's love and protectiveness for her child is unlike any other force or power in this world. To willingly put that aside for the sake of the call the Lord had on her life and her precious Son's life is nothing short of miraculous in my mind. I cannot even begin to imagine all she went through. I'm thankful for her part in the story of Jesus. I pray I will never make light of it. I'm thankful for her faithfulness, strength and humility. I'm thankful for her beautiful heart.
It's becoming more and more clear to me as I study and meditate on Scripture that one of the greatest proofs that the Gospel story is true is found when we see Mary's silence at the cross.
Think about it. If my town or community decided to crucify me, my mother would have been raising up a storm to stop it from happening. If we were to try and claim to be God, my mother would have been the first one out there to say, "She's a liar! She might be a lunatic, but she's not God! Don't kill her!"
But when Mary stood at the foot of the cross, as Jesus was being crucified for being God, she didn't say a word.....even if it would save His life, spare the cross. Why? Because she knew it was true.
She, of anyone on this planet, was the one in a position to know the truth of the virgin birth.....and she stayed silent.
When it comes to faithfulness, she is at the top of the list in my mind of people from the Bible. A mother's love and protectiveness for her child is unlike any other force or power in this world. To willingly put that aside for the sake of the call the Lord had on her life and her precious Son's life is nothing short of miraculous in my mind. I cannot even begin to imagine all she went through. I'm thankful for her part in the story of Jesus. I pray I will never make light of it. I'm thankful for her faithfulness, strength and humility. I'm thankful for her beautiful heart.
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
When I fall
In church this past Sunday, the pastor chose as his text Micah 7.
For the past several years I have become very interested in the minor prophets, minor because of their size, not their content. There are 14 of them in the Old Testament, and they are worth the read.
They mirror life in these tumultuous times. They are contemporary though written hundreds of years ago. They narrate human nature, which is the same, basically, world wide.
The men who wrote them were specially chosen of God to teach, warn, admonish, and even cry and beg for their people to return to God. These brave souls often faced humiliation, rejection, suffering, and the risk of looking like fools.
Such is the case with Micah, which means, "Who is like the Lord?" Micah lived during the days of kingships of Jotham, Ahaz, and Hezekiah. Assyria invaded Samaria in 722-721 B. C., and Judah faced repeated threatenings from more than one Assyrian king.
Micah was a contemporary of the great major prophet, Isaiah; you know, the guy who got sawed in two by wicked, evil King Manasseh of Judah, the southern kingdom vs. Israel, the northern kingdom. This mad man Manasseh left his stench and curse on Judah for years and years to come. Manasseh's father, Hezekiah mentioned above had not yet begun to reign.
Micah faithfully warns anyone who will listen that the nation will be destroyed because of the wicked hearts of its leaders, including civic leaders, prophets, and priests, who were all guilty of not fearing God any more. This general malaise toward recognizing and dealing with sin in their lives had a trickle down affect on the general population, who followed suit. Sluggishness and apathy towards the holiness of God reigned, therefore, in the population as well as in the leadership. There was no fear of God, whatsoever.
One thread throughout all the prophets, both major and minor, was the shortcoming of the prophets and priests in withholding the truth of the consequences that would fall on them and the people as well if they did not turn from their sins and repent. They failed to proclaim the doom to befall them and instead promised false hope and repeated declaration of peace.
The prophets and priests often proclaimed that these leaders preached "peace, peace, when there is no peace."
Another thread throughout these books of the Old Testament is that since God busies Himself with our every step, He sees and rewards the remnant who refuses to go along with the crowd. To that remnant who remain faithful to Him, He promises His blessing. To that remnant who follow Him, a better day is coming perhaps in their lifetime, but for sure in their death, as they will dwell with the Lord forever and He will reward them openly for their lives surrendered to Him instead of living for the pursuit of materialism, fame, compromise, or their own will.
As I sat in the church pew on Sunday, I listened intently as the pastor sited verses 7-9 out of Chapter 7. And in this final portion of Micah is a great guideline for us when we fall. It's a simple, uncomplicated (not necessarily easy or quickly embraced because of our weak flesh) prescription for rebound from sin, recovery from life's jabs, and hope in a mighty God who delivers us from ourselves.
The order of the points is not in order if that makes sense. We will see a back and forth movement from verse to verse, but there is a very practical order. Many times the Bible is like that. It is not necessarily in chronological order. That's why often one must dig into the text, think, pray, return to it, read it again, and wait for the Lord to shed light.
So we are looking at 3 powerful verses in Chapter 7. Verses 7, 8, and 9.
Let's start in verse 8.
1. "When I fall. . . "
Relief floods my soul at this statement. Often put on pedestals, leaders are expected to live lives devoid of falling, devoid of slipping, devoid of sinning. Expect it.
Micah is not positioning himself to be anything different from what he is. . . a sinner. He is going to fall.
The fall may come as a result of sin but it doesn't have to. The fall may be the result of a great blow:
death
divorce
loss of a job
family turmoil
or sin
BUT IT WILL COME. WE ALL FALL for one reason or another.
What do we do when that happens? Go to verse 7.
2. "But as for me, I will look to the Lord." Ahhh, there's my answer. Relief again. I will look to the Lord," who is
my refuge
my hiding place
my strong tower which I can run into and be safe
my paraclete (one who walks alongside of me)
my advocate (lawyer)
my intercessor (Jesus stands continually before the Lord pleading our cause)
to name a few
3. "I will wait with hope and expectancy for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me."
Confessing to God what He already knows is essential. It's obviously for us, not for Him. Are we not humbled at naming our evil, our shortcomings, our anger, our jealously, our lack of forgiveness? Does not the mention of these acts reveal who we really are and how much we need Him to forgive us and clear the air once again, restoring us to Him?
4. "I will bear the indignation of the Lord because I have sinned against Him."
I must agree with my sin. It's my fault, nobody else's. I must bear my consequences myself. I can't blame anyone else. I can't sling mud, not with God. He knows all.
So whatever I have coming to me, I will embrace it. I will take it. I will bear it by the grace of God and not make someone else my scapegoat.
Neither will I blame God. I will allow no bitterness to cling to me. By the grace of God, I will allow it though it wash over me, to keep going.
Depending on the reason for the fall and the fall itself, this has to be a process. It's not a flash in the pan. It may take a while to get out of the fog of living in God's indignation.
Personally speaking, the death of a baby is one of the most unexpected blows a parent or grandparent can punched with. Another is internal family issues that rip the heart right out of the body.
These can cause one to fall.
The looking to the Lord becomes a lifeline, a safety net, a secure hold from focusing on the horrible night of the soul in its loss or the nightmare of volatile emotional eruptions within the family instead of the One who wants to get us out of the pit.
What has caused you to fall? Find respite in looking to the Lord again and again and again and again. He hears you though the clamor of trauma continues to resound. Though He seems distant. Though the storm seems to prevail. He hears. Keep watch. Be patient. God has His own timing. His wheels grind slow but sure.
The indignation of the Lord may be hard to bear, but He, the Loving Parent that He is, always does the right thing, distributes in the exact proportion needed, and stops when He sees His purpose is fulfilled. Carry on in His grace. In all of your suffering, He stands beside you with abounding grace, enough to more than get you through. Enough to keep you sane. Enough to give you hope.
Verse 9 in the Amplified says that after He has pled my cause and executed judgment for me, "He will bring me forth to the light, and I shall behold His righteous deliverance."
Now comes the last verse (7)
5. "I shall arise when I sit in darkness. The Lord shall be a light to me."
Here is grace in action. Grace enables us to endure the darkness. It keeps us from losing our minds. Through grace we can arise from the darkness. . . eventually. It lubricates our nerves enough to get up again and get going. Grace is a balm. It is the salve of the Holy Spirit that soothes the raw wounds that may have caused us to fall in the first place. It accommodates us and makes a way for us to wade through whatever fog, grief, or turmoil we might be stuck in one step at a time.
I love the verse in Revelation that says in the future there will be no sun or moon because we won't need them. Jesus Himself will be our light.
Until then, Jesus will break through that dark night of the soul and shed light, His light. That light consists of peace with ourselves, joy, hope, and the reality gripping our soul that though nothing has changed--that is, that baby we so miss will never come back here, the divorce has not been reversed, joblessness is still just that, the family is still broken and wounded, or scars from the sin are still felt--the Presence of Christ is so real that life is going to be livable. We can breathe again. We can function again. We can laugh again.
The final part of verse 7 concludes, "I shall behold His righteous deliverance."
Deliverance.
What relief. Pure joy.
Deliverance.
Praise you Jesus for deliverance. We love you so.
For the past several years I have become very interested in the minor prophets, minor because of their size, not their content. There are 14 of them in the Old Testament, and they are worth the read.
They mirror life in these tumultuous times. They are contemporary though written hundreds of years ago. They narrate human nature, which is the same, basically, world wide.
The men who wrote them were specially chosen of God to teach, warn, admonish, and even cry and beg for their people to return to God. These brave souls often faced humiliation, rejection, suffering, and the risk of looking like fools.
Such is the case with Micah, which means, "Who is like the Lord?" Micah lived during the days of kingships of Jotham, Ahaz, and Hezekiah. Assyria invaded Samaria in 722-721 B. C., and Judah faced repeated threatenings from more than one Assyrian king.
Micah was a contemporary of the great major prophet, Isaiah; you know, the guy who got sawed in two by wicked, evil King Manasseh of Judah, the southern kingdom vs. Israel, the northern kingdom. This mad man Manasseh left his stench and curse on Judah for years and years to come. Manasseh's father, Hezekiah mentioned above had not yet begun to reign.
Micah faithfully warns anyone who will listen that the nation will be destroyed because of the wicked hearts of its leaders, including civic leaders, prophets, and priests, who were all guilty of not fearing God any more. This general malaise toward recognizing and dealing with sin in their lives had a trickle down affect on the general population, who followed suit. Sluggishness and apathy towards the holiness of God reigned, therefore, in the population as well as in the leadership. There was no fear of God, whatsoever.
One thread throughout all the prophets, both major and minor, was the shortcoming of the prophets and priests in withholding the truth of the consequences that would fall on them and the people as well if they did not turn from their sins and repent. They failed to proclaim the doom to befall them and instead promised false hope and repeated declaration of peace.
The prophets and priests often proclaimed that these leaders preached "peace, peace, when there is no peace."
Another thread throughout these books of the Old Testament is that since God busies Himself with our every step, He sees and rewards the remnant who refuses to go along with the crowd. To that remnant who remain faithful to Him, He promises His blessing. To that remnant who follow Him, a better day is coming perhaps in their lifetime, but for sure in their death, as they will dwell with the Lord forever and He will reward them openly for their lives surrendered to Him instead of living for the pursuit of materialism, fame, compromise, or their own will.
As I sat in the church pew on Sunday, I listened intently as the pastor sited verses 7-9 out of Chapter 7. And in this final portion of Micah is a great guideline for us when we fall. It's a simple, uncomplicated (not necessarily easy or quickly embraced because of our weak flesh) prescription for rebound from sin, recovery from life's jabs, and hope in a mighty God who delivers us from ourselves.
The order of the points is not in order if that makes sense. We will see a back and forth movement from verse to verse, but there is a very practical order. Many times the Bible is like that. It is not necessarily in chronological order. That's why often one must dig into the text, think, pray, return to it, read it again, and wait for the Lord to shed light.
So we are looking at 3 powerful verses in Chapter 7. Verses 7, 8, and 9.
Let's start in verse 8.
1. "When I fall. . . "
Relief floods my soul at this statement. Often put on pedestals, leaders are expected to live lives devoid of falling, devoid of slipping, devoid of sinning. Expect it.
Micah is not positioning himself to be anything different from what he is. . . a sinner. He is going to fall.
The fall may come as a result of sin but it doesn't have to. The fall may be the result of a great blow:
death
divorce
loss of a job
family turmoil
or sin
BUT IT WILL COME. WE ALL FALL for one reason or another.
What do we do when that happens? Go to verse 7.
2. "But as for me, I will look to the Lord." Ahhh, there's my answer. Relief again. I will look to the Lord," who is
my refuge
my hiding place
my strong tower which I can run into and be safe
my paraclete (one who walks alongside of me)
my advocate (lawyer)
my intercessor (Jesus stands continually before the Lord pleading our cause)
to name a few
3. "I will wait with hope and expectancy for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me."
Confessing to God what He already knows is essential. It's obviously for us, not for Him. Are we not humbled at naming our evil, our shortcomings, our anger, our jealously, our lack of forgiveness? Does not the mention of these acts reveal who we really are and how much we need Him to forgive us and clear the air once again, restoring us to Him?
4. "I will bear the indignation of the Lord because I have sinned against Him."
I must agree with my sin. It's my fault, nobody else's. I must bear my consequences myself. I can't blame anyone else. I can't sling mud, not with God. He knows all.
So whatever I have coming to me, I will embrace it. I will take it. I will bear it by the grace of God and not make someone else my scapegoat.
Neither will I blame God. I will allow no bitterness to cling to me. By the grace of God, I will allow it though it wash over me, to keep going.
Depending on the reason for the fall and the fall itself, this has to be a process. It's not a flash in the pan. It may take a while to get out of the fog of living in God's indignation.
Personally speaking, the death of a baby is one of the most unexpected blows a parent or grandparent can punched with. Another is internal family issues that rip the heart right out of the body.
These can cause one to fall.
The looking to the Lord becomes a lifeline, a safety net, a secure hold from focusing on the horrible night of the soul in its loss or the nightmare of volatile emotional eruptions within the family instead of the One who wants to get us out of the pit.
What has caused you to fall? Find respite in looking to the Lord again and again and again and again. He hears you though the clamor of trauma continues to resound. Though He seems distant. Though the storm seems to prevail. He hears. Keep watch. Be patient. God has His own timing. His wheels grind slow but sure.
The indignation of the Lord may be hard to bear, but He, the Loving Parent that He is, always does the right thing, distributes in the exact proportion needed, and stops when He sees His purpose is fulfilled. Carry on in His grace. In all of your suffering, He stands beside you with abounding grace, enough to more than get you through. Enough to keep you sane. Enough to give you hope.
Verse 9 in the Amplified says that after He has pled my cause and executed judgment for me, "He will bring me forth to the light, and I shall behold His righteous deliverance."
Now comes the last verse (7)
5. "I shall arise when I sit in darkness. The Lord shall be a light to me."
Here is grace in action. Grace enables us to endure the darkness. It keeps us from losing our minds. Through grace we can arise from the darkness. . . eventually. It lubricates our nerves enough to get up again and get going. Grace is a balm. It is the salve of the Holy Spirit that soothes the raw wounds that may have caused us to fall in the first place. It accommodates us and makes a way for us to wade through whatever fog, grief, or turmoil we might be stuck in one step at a time.
I love the verse in Revelation that says in the future there will be no sun or moon because we won't need them. Jesus Himself will be our light.
Until then, Jesus will break through that dark night of the soul and shed light, His light. That light consists of peace with ourselves, joy, hope, and the reality gripping our soul that though nothing has changed--that is, that baby we so miss will never come back here, the divorce has not been reversed, joblessness is still just that, the family is still broken and wounded, or scars from the sin are still felt--the Presence of Christ is so real that life is going to be livable. We can breathe again. We can function again. We can laugh again.
The final part of verse 7 concludes, "I shall behold His righteous deliverance."
Deliverance.
What relief. Pure joy.
Deliverance.
Praise you Jesus for deliverance. We love you so.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
I voted for Jacob and Casey too
We were sitting at the house last night talking to some family about the election, Brad's youngest brother, Jacob, interjected saying "I so wish I could vote." His words hit me like a ton of bricks.
In that moment, I thought about Jacob. He's 14 years old and soon to turn 15. By the time the next election rolls around, he will be 18 years old, soon to turn 19. He will be able to vote in that election if he so chooses. But by then, so much of his future will have been decided for him. The person who is elected President today (or tomorrow, whenever they calculate the final vote totals) will greatly influence Jacob's life and his future. So much of Jacob's future depends on who we vote into office during this election.
Then I thought about my sweet Casey, my heart, who is 8 years old. She's a long way away from being able to vote in an election. But her future depends on who becomes President as a result of this election also. The decision we make today will aid in determining what kind of opportunities she will have in her future.
I'm an educated voter. While I consider myself to be a Republican, I won't just vote straight Republican because they're Republican. That, to me, is silly and irresponsible. I study the candidates. I watch the way they handle themselves in debates and interviews. I look at how they carry themselves. I study where they stand on the issues that matter. However, this time around, it took until today, Election Day, for me to see the bigger picture. To realize that my vote is greater than myself.
Those of us at or over the age of 18 get to let our voices be heard in the form of our vote. But there is a huge population of kids under 18 whose future depends just as much, if not more than ours, on who we vote for. It's them we have to keep in mind as we are casting our votes today, for those of us who didn't vote early.
So my vote this election was cast also for Jacob, for Casey and and for kids like them everywhere. Kids too young to let their voices be heard in this election. Kids whose lives are at stake when we choose who will lead our country. As you're going to the polls today, keep them in mind and do your best to choose a President who will be best for you, but also all those precious kids coming up behind you.
In that moment, I thought about Jacob. He's 14 years old and soon to turn 15. By the time the next election rolls around, he will be 18 years old, soon to turn 19. He will be able to vote in that election if he so chooses. But by then, so much of his future will have been decided for him. The person who is elected President today (or tomorrow, whenever they calculate the final vote totals) will greatly influence Jacob's life and his future. So much of Jacob's future depends on who we vote into office during this election.
Then I thought about my sweet Casey, my heart, who is 8 years old. She's a long way away from being able to vote in an election. But her future depends on who becomes President as a result of this election also. The decision we make today will aid in determining what kind of opportunities she will have in her future.
I'm an educated voter. While I consider myself to be a Republican, I won't just vote straight Republican because they're Republican. That, to me, is silly and irresponsible. I study the candidates. I watch the way they handle themselves in debates and interviews. I look at how they carry themselves. I study where they stand on the issues that matter. However, this time around, it took until today, Election Day, for me to see the bigger picture. To realize that my vote is greater than myself.
Those of us at or over the age of 18 get to let our voices be heard in the form of our vote. But there is a huge population of kids under 18 whose future depends just as much, if not more than ours, on who we vote for. It's them we have to keep in mind as we are casting our votes today, for those of us who didn't vote early.
So my vote this election was cast also for Jacob, for Casey and and for kids like them everywhere. Kids too young to let their voices be heard in this election. Kids whose lives are at stake when we choose who will lead our country. As you're going to the polls today, keep them in mind and do your best to choose a President who will be best for you, but also all those precious kids coming up behind you.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Finding overlooked treasure
"The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel"—which means, "God with us." Matthew 1:23 (NIV)
A couple of weeks ago, I found myself so unbelievably frustrated! I had been expecting something in the mail that was beyond being late. I had patiently waited, each day going to my front door, only to find another day had passed without the much anticipated object on my front step. So, I decided to call the company and find out what was going on. I had to talk to four recorded messages that could not easily understand my voice prompts before I got put on hold for fifteen minutes. Oh yeah, and this was NOT a toll-free call, but was eating up my money by the second!
I finally heard a human voice on the phone. I told of my dilemma (of course, with a very Christ-like attitude--not!) and asked the person on the line to track my package. After being put on hold for another ten minutes, the woman told me that the package had been delivered over a week ago. I sat there and argued with her for a while. Then she said something that appeared maddeningly redundant to me:
"Ma'am, what sort of a package were you expecting?"
I rolled my eyes in disgust. She should know, shouldn't she? After all, the missing item was from her company! After a deep breath to keep my temper in check, I tried to tell her, as calmly as I could, what sort of package I had been looking for. I gave her the dimensions of the box I expected it to be in. That is when she said,
"Oh, ma'am, that's where your problem is. It wasn't supposed to come in a box at all. It is small enough to fit in an envelope that is compact enough to fit in your mail box. Do you have a pile of mail that you haven't gone through yet?"
I vaguely remembered an odd-looking envelope that I had assumed was just junk mail. I asked her if she could hang on. She patiently said that she would. I ran to get the overlooked envelope and ripped it open. Lying there was my desired item. It had been there all along, but because it didn't come in the box I had been looking for, I had incorrectly assumed that it hadn't yet arrived. I returned sheepishly to the phone, begging her to forgive me for my short temper. She graciously laughed and said she was just doing her job and even went so far as to empathize with my frustration over the overlooked package.
This situation has caused me to wonder, have we mistakenly thought our Jesus hasn't arrived? Long before Christ was born in a stable in Bethlehem, the prophet Isaiah wrote about what He would look like:
Who has believed our message?
To whom has the Lord revealed his powerful arm?
My servant grew up in the Lord’s presence like a tender green shoot,
like a root in dry ground.
There was nothing beautiful or majestic about his appearance,
nothing to attract us to him.
He was despised and rejected—
a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief.
We turned our backs on him and looked the other way.
He was despised, and we did not care.
Yet it was our weaknesses he carried;
it was our sorrows that weighed him down.
And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God,
a punishment for his own sins!
But he was pierced for our rebellion,
crushed for our sins.
He was beaten so we could be whole.
He was whipped so we could be healed.
All of us, like sheep, have strayed away.
We have left God’s paths to follow our own.
Yet the Lord laid on him
the sins of us all.
Isaiah 53:1-6 (NLT)
Nothing beautiful or majestic to attract me to Him? Despised and rejected--do I really want to be associated with Someone like that? Someone who was pierced, beaten, and whipped? Could this really be my Savior? I, like so many others, have mistakenly thought God the Father would have a different plan. Am I looking for my Jesus in a pretty package? Does He receive my rejection because He hasn't ridden in on the white horse and saved the day to my satisfaction? Am I disappointed with Him??
Yes, my heart cries! This year has been full of crushings for me. Full of unmet expectations, disappointed hopes and an abundance of loss. I have thought, foolishly, to look for Him in the sunshine, not realizing that my Savior is a Man of sorrows Who is acquainted with the deepest form of grief I can imagine. Why is He acquainted so intimately with my grief? Because He has made it His own! The bitter anguish that has come from the depths of my soul, the tears that have soaked my pillow unseen by human eyes, have not gone unnoticed by my God! I just have thought so at times. The deepest glory has taken place when I have been most unaware of its presence. And my heart has sadly overlooked what has slowly become so obvious to me, what I could not see until now.
"In all their distress he too was distressed,
and the angel of his presence saved them.
In his love and mercy he redeemed them;
he lifted them up and carried them
all the days of old." Isaiah 63:9
Before I called, before I knew my own need, before I experienced the heartache and anguish of life this year, He heard me and sent the angel of His presence. Why? Because in all my distress, my Father, too, was distressed. I was looking for Him to show up in a different way. I thought He would come in a beautiful and recognizable package. Not one that was so hideous and wrenching to my heart that I could never think to believe He could be inside of it.
Our Jesus is Emmanuel. Emmanuel means, "God with us." He is always present because He exalts nothing higher than His word and His name (Psalm 138). He cannot lie to us. He will never leave us or forsake us. We have just been looking for Emmanuel according to our own idea of what He should look like. But that does not change the fact that He has been there all along and will continue to be.
Go get your Bible--your love letter from our God. Let's not let those living, breathing promises sit unopened as they may have this past year. Let's open our book of hope because no matter what happens, our God is with us!
Jesus, retrain my eyes! May You not be my overlooked Treasure anymore. You are with me always, even to the end of the world. Let me find You where You are, not where I want You to be.
A couple of weeks ago, I found myself so unbelievably frustrated! I had been expecting something in the mail that was beyond being late. I had patiently waited, each day going to my front door, only to find another day had passed without the much anticipated object on my front step. So, I decided to call the company and find out what was going on. I had to talk to four recorded messages that could not easily understand my voice prompts before I got put on hold for fifteen minutes. Oh yeah, and this was NOT a toll-free call, but was eating up my money by the second!
I finally heard a human voice on the phone. I told of my dilemma (of course, with a very Christ-like attitude--not!) and asked the person on the line to track my package. After being put on hold for another ten minutes, the woman told me that the package had been delivered over a week ago. I sat there and argued with her for a while. Then she said something that appeared maddeningly redundant to me:
"Ma'am, what sort of a package were you expecting?"
I rolled my eyes in disgust. She should know, shouldn't she? After all, the missing item was from her company! After a deep breath to keep my temper in check, I tried to tell her, as calmly as I could, what sort of package I had been looking for. I gave her the dimensions of the box I expected it to be in. That is when she said,
"Oh, ma'am, that's where your problem is. It wasn't supposed to come in a box at all. It is small enough to fit in an envelope that is compact enough to fit in your mail box. Do you have a pile of mail that you haven't gone through yet?"
I vaguely remembered an odd-looking envelope that I had assumed was just junk mail. I asked her if she could hang on. She patiently said that she would. I ran to get the overlooked envelope and ripped it open. Lying there was my desired item. It had been there all along, but because it didn't come in the box I had been looking for, I had incorrectly assumed that it hadn't yet arrived. I returned sheepishly to the phone, begging her to forgive me for my short temper. She graciously laughed and said she was just doing her job and even went so far as to empathize with my frustration over the overlooked package.
This situation has caused me to wonder, have we mistakenly thought our Jesus hasn't arrived? Long before Christ was born in a stable in Bethlehem, the prophet Isaiah wrote about what He would look like:
Who has believed our message?
To whom has the Lord revealed his powerful arm?
My servant grew up in the Lord’s presence like a tender green shoot,
like a root in dry ground.
There was nothing beautiful or majestic about his appearance,
nothing to attract us to him.
He was despised and rejected—
a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief.
We turned our backs on him and looked the other way.
He was despised, and we did not care.
Yet it was our weaknesses he carried;
it was our sorrows that weighed him down.
And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God,
a punishment for his own sins!
But he was pierced for our rebellion,
crushed for our sins.
He was beaten so we could be whole.
He was whipped so we could be healed.
All of us, like sheep, have strayed away.
We have left God’s paths to follow our own.
Yet the Lord laid on him
the sins of us all.
Isaiah 53:1-6 (NLT)
Nothing beautiful or majestic to attract me to Him? Despised and rejected--do I really want to be associated with Someone like that? Someone who was pierced, beaten, and whipped? Could this really be my Savior? I, like so many others, have mistakenly thought God the Father would have a different plan. Am I looking for my Jesus in a pretty package? Does He receive my rejection because He hasn't ridden in on the white horse and saved the day to my satisfaction? Am I disappointed with Him??
Yes, my heart cries! This year has been full of crushings for me. Full of unmet expectations, disappointed hopes and an abundance of loss. I have thought, foolishly, to look for Him in the sunshine, not realizing that my Savior is a Man of sorrows Who is acquainted with the deepest form of grief I can imagine. Why is He acquainted so intimately with my grief? Because He has made it His own! The bitter anguish that has come from the depths of my soul, the tears that have soaked my pillow unseen by human eyes, have not gone unnoticed by my God! I just have thought so at times. The deepest glory has taken place when I have been most unaware of its presence. And my heart has sadly overlooked what has slowly become so obvious to me, what I could not see until now.
"In all their distress he too was distressed,
and the angel of his presence saved them.
In his love and mercy he redeemed them;
he lifted them up and carried them
all the days of old." Isaiah 63:9
Before I called, before I knew my own need, before I experienced the heartache and anguish of life this year, He heard me and sent the angel of His presence. Why? Because in all my distress, my Father, too, was distressed. I was looking for Him to show up in a different way. I thought He would come in a beautiful and recognizable package. Not one that was so hideous and wrenching to my heart that I could never think to believe He could be inside of it.
Our Jesus is Emmanuel. Emmanuel means, "God with us." He is always present because He exalts nothing higher than His word and His name (Psalm 138). He cannot lie to us. He will never leave us or forsake us. We have just been looking for Emmanuel according to our own idea of what He should look like. But that does not change the fact that He has been there all along and will continue to be.
Go get your Bible--your love letter from our God. Let's not let those living, breathing promises sit unopened as they may have this past year. Let's open our book of hope because no matter what happens, our God is with us!
Jesus, retrain my eyes! May You not be my overlooked Treasure anymore. You are with me always, even to the end of the world. Let me find You where You are, not where I want You to be.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
It's okay to ask why
I’m pretty sure I drove my parents nuts when I was younger because I had to know the “why” of every rule, every request, every responsibility… everything! The old tried and true “because I said so” response would have made me lose sleep at night wondering,”Who are these imposters who called themselves my parents and why won’t they be honest with me about why I can’t put my finger in that light socket?” It wasn’t just that I wanted to know why; I needed to know why. It was the way I learned to trust.
So now I’m 28 years old, and guess what. Nothing has changed in this department. I’m worse than ever. I need to know WHY the local gym will not let us bring our own water bottles inside or WHY the DMV will not let me smile on my driver’s license. It’s not that I don’t want to comply. I’m really not a rebel. I just don’t want to be jerked around by people who think meaningless rules equal power.
The good news is, when I understand the context of “WHY?” in any given situation I am extremely cooperative – quite low maintenance, in fact. I just don’t want to be a robot that is programmed to do “whatever” with no meaning or context.
Asking, “Why?” is discouraged by some, particularly in matters of faith. Questions seem to indicate weakness or lack of faith.
I beg to differ. If the God of the Universe is really all-powerful, all-knowing and if he really created every fiber of my being, why would be be afraid of the questions that come out of the very nature He wove into my mind and heart? (He wouldn’t.) He has the world’s broadest shoulders. We can ask Him, “Why?” We can be honest with Him. (Why do I know this? Because I do it all the time, and He honors my questions with insight… or at least peace when the answers aren’t clear.)
With that in mind, one of the most helpful things I ever learned about faith is the truth that God did not create commandments or standards to manipulate us. He created us to be individuals, not robots. Every command given to us in scripture is given to protect us from natural consequences that would ultimately be harmful to us.
Somehow it helps to understand that the WHY of obedience is LOVE. He wants us to obey Him for our own good because He loves us. He isn’t some “Barney Fife” rule guardian who needs us to make Him feel powerful. He is all-powerful, with or without us.
Knowing that, I long for obedience. I pursue it.
If you’re like me and have “why” questions, go ahead and ask them. The sky won’t fall. And you might even feel love like you have never known.
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